The Joke Thread

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Black_Flag_11
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Re: The Joke Thread

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American men have reported a surge in the number of messages from Russian women looking for sex.

The intelligence community warn that this is likely Vladimir Putin attempting to meddle with American erections.

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Mayhem
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Mayhem »

Pretty cool coin trick I saw the other night


Source https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c5U7d7LYQxAe
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mac_d
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by mac_d »

Ah, so when you said "pretty cool" you meant f***ing incredible! I love P&T Fool Us but I had not seen this gentleman. His act was funny but the sleight of hand is really just incredible.

I love a bit of magic. I used to love the Edinburgh Fringe because there was an abundance of magic on during the day. I saw Penn and Teller live a couple of years ago, and I love Fool Us and I loved Bullsh*t. The reason I don't go so much anymore... Most people gasp when something cool happens, I tend to laugh or giggle loudly. I love knowing it's a trick and so forth.

So anyway, did you all hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field!

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Mayhem
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Re: The Joke Thread

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mac_d wrote:Ah, so when you said "pretty cool" you meant f***ing incredible! I love P&T Fool Us but I had not seen this gentleman. His act was funny but the sleight of hand is really just incredible.

I love a bit of magic. I used to love the Edinburgh Fringe because there was an abundance of magic on during the day. I saw Penn and Teller live a couple of years ago, and I love Fool Us and I loved Bullsh*t. The reason I don't go so much anymore... Most people gasp when something cool happens, I tend to laugh or giggle loudly. I love knowing it's a trick and so forth.

So anyway, did you all hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field!
I did mean incredible but not many are into magic & sleight of hand so I didn’t want to over sell it Lol but it really is a incredible trick..., nice to meet a fellow magic enthusiast. I’ve watched this trick a few times and it really is mind blowing how smooth and effortless he performs the trick. Great showmanship throughout the entire performance.

I’ve never had the pleasure of seeing penn & teller live but I’ve seen Dàvid blane do some street magic live. Which was awesome. I watch “fool us” quite often, it’s a great show. Troy street magic is another show I would recommend if you haven’t seen it. It’s on YouTube as well

Same here I tend to laugh when I see a trick don’t get the whole gasp thing but to each their own.
PF1 pick 10 2016: 7th (1 win, 4 podiums), 2017: 17th (3 podiums)
Awards: Sergio perez trophy & Podium specialist
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mac_d
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by mac_d »

Mayhem wrote:
mac_d wrote:Ah, so when you said "pretty cool" you meant f***ing incredible! I love P&T Fool Us but I had not seen this gentleman. His act was funny but the sleight of hand is really just incredible.

I love a bit of magic. I used to love the Edinburgh Fringe because there was an abundance of magic on during the day. I saw Penn and Teller live a couple of years ago, and I love Fool Us and I loved Bullsh*t. The reason I don't go so much anymore... Most people gasp when something cool happens, I tend to laugh or giggle loudly. I love knowing it's a trick and so forth.

So anyway, did you all hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field!
I did mean incredible but not many are into magic & sleight of hand so I didn’t want to over sell it Lol but it really is a incredible trick..., nice to meet a fellow magic enthusiast. I’ve watched this trick a few times and it really is mind blowing how smooth and effortless he performs the trick. Great showmanship throughout the entire performance.

I’ve never had the pleasure of seeing penn & teller live but I’ve seen Dàvid blane do some street magic live. Which was awesome. I watch “fool us” quite often, it’s a great show. Troy street magic is another show I would recommend if you haven’t seen it. It’s on YouTube as well

Same here I tend to laugh when I see a trick don’t get the whole gasp thing but to each their own.
I don't do magic myself outwith some very basic tricks. Do you?

I did impress my nephews with some card magic when I last saw them, but age 8 and 4 they are a bit easier to fool. But yeah, love magic. I'm still debating if the perfect trick is one I never figure out or one I do figure out eventually. Card magic and sleight of hand I find to be far more appealing than a big marquee illusion like sawing a woman in half or making a tank/elephant etc disappear.

I've been watching a boatload of P&T:FU clips on youtube recently too, but missed the one you kindly shared.

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Mayhem
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Re: The Joke Thread

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mac_d wrote:I don't do magic myself outwith some very basic tricks. Do you?

I did impress my nephews with some card magic when I last saw them, but age 8 and 4 they are a bit easier to fool. But yeah, love magic. I'm still debating if the perfect trick is one I never figure out or one I do figure out eventually. Card magic and sleight of hand I find to be far more appealing than a big marquee illusion like sawing a woman in half or making a tank/elephant etc disappear.

I've been watching a boatload of P&T:FU clips on youtube recently too, but missed the one you kindly shared.
Same just simple mentalist card tricks and cup / ball tricks I did growing up for friends & family.... to me the perfect trick is one you can’t figure out and your left in a daze wondering how is this possible.

I’ve always taken a liking to up close magic. No big bells and whistles ( those are cool too) but up close sleight of hand to me is far more impressive.
PF1 pick 10 2016: 7th (1 win, 4 podiums), 2017: 17th (3 podiums)
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Black_Flag_11
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Black_Flag_11 »

Have you noticed how many F1 drivers have names linked to Scottish towns?

Stirling Moss, Lewis Hamilton, Eddie Irvine, Ayr Town Cente.

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moby
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by moby »

mac_d wrote:
Mayhem wrote:
mac_d wrote:Ah, so when you said "pretty cool" you meant f***ing incredible! I love P&T Fool Us but I had not seen this gentleman. His act was funny but the sleight of hand is really just incredible.

I love a bit of magic. I used to love the Edinburgh Fringe because there was an abundance of magic on during the day. I saw Penn and Teller live a couple of years ago, and I love Fool Us and I loved Bullsh*t. The reason I don't go so much anymore... Most people gasp when something cool happens, I tend to laugh or giggle loudly. I love knowing it's a trick and so forth.

So anyway, did you all hear about the magic tractor?
It turned into a field!
I did mean incredible but not many are into magic & sleight of hand so I didn’t want to over sell it Lol but it really is a incredible trick..., nice to meet a fellow magic enthusiast. I’ve watched this trick a few times and it really is mind blowing how smooth and effortless he performs the trick. Great showmanship throughout the entire performance.

I’ve never had the pleasure of seeing penn & teller live but I’ve seen Dàvid blane do some street magic live. Which was awesome. I watch “fool us” quite often, it’s a great show. Troy street magic is another show I would recommend if you haven’t seen it. It’s on YouTube as well

Same here I tend to laugh when I see a trick don’t get the whole gasp thing but to each their own.
I don't do magic myself outwith some very basic tricks. Do you?

I did impress my nephews with some card magic when I last saw them, but age 8 and 4 they are a bit easier to fool. But yeah, love magic. I'm still debating if the perfect trick is one I never figure out or one I do figure out eventually. Card magic and sleight of hand I find to be far more appealing than a big marquee illusion like sawing a woman in half or making a tank/elephant etc disappear.

I've been watching a boatload of P&T:FU clips on youtube recently too, but missed the one you kindly shared.
A place I worked before allowed me access to the machine shop and I assisted a friend with some 'tricks'.
Not as good as this, but I made a tin 'playing card' sandwiched between 2 'peeled' cards. (one front, tin, a back) and the hard part was making the coins and magnetizing them. Real coins are not made of ferrous so it took some searching.
I think we eventually used Egyptian coins because they were thick enough to grind down and stick a magnet to.
The trick was impressive, he did kids magic shows.

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Mayhem
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Mayhem »

moby wrote:A place I worked before allowed me access to the machine shop and I assisted a friend with some 'tricks'.
Not as good as this, but I made a tin 'playing card' sandwiched between 2 'peeled' cards. (one front, tin, a back) and the hard part was making the coins and magnetizing them. Real coins are not made of ferrous so it took some searching.
I think we eventually used Egyptian coins because they were thick enough to grind down and stick a magnet to.
The trick was impressive, he did kids magic shows.
Sounds pretty cool
PF1 pick 10 2016: 7th (1 win, 4 podiums), 2017: 17th (3 podiums)
Awards: Sergio perez trophy & Podium specialist
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Autosport Gp 2016/17 - 5th
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moby
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by moby »

On holiday, I walked into a bar advertising 'wifi'. I said to the barman "whats the password"

He says "buy a drink"

Ah, ok, Ill have a beer.

Thanks, now whats the wifi password.

He says "buy a drink" no spaces all lower case.


It gets worse, I sat there surfing the net and I kept hearing "your looking good today' 'You are really good a web surfing'
Quite a few things like that, but there was no one around. I went up to the bar and told the barman, he said, nothin to get concerned about, its the complimentary peanuts'

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Mayhem
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Mayhem »

Reminds me of a joke from when I saw Kevin Hart live a few weeks ago

Kevin Hart: my son cursed at me the other day for the first time. I ask my son for the password on his iphone so I can see what he’s up too. My son replies F*ck you. What u say boy??? I said F*ck you dad, I proceeded to grab my son by the throat and whoop his butt. You ain’t cursing at me in my house boy. My son crying replies no dad that’s the password “f*ck you” I said oh damn, that’s a good password son, I woulda never guessed that one. do you spell it “y.o.u” or just “u”. Just “u” ok I got it thanks, walk it off”
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Awards: Sergio perez trophy & Podium specialist
PF1 pick 3 2015: constructors 2nd, singles 5th
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Blinky McSquinty
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Blinky McSquinty »

This is not really a joke, but absolutely hilarious

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minchy
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by minchy »

LMAO! :lol:
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Mayhem
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Mayhem »

Very fast slight of hand and card counting executed flawlessly


https://youtu.be/lWJz1NMT638
PF1 pick 10 2016: 7th (1 win, 4 podiums), 2017: 17th (3 podiums)
Awards: Sergio perez trophy & Podium specialist
PF1 pick 3 2015: constructors 2nd, singles 5th
Autosport Gp 2016/17 - 5th
F1 Oracle 2017: 2nd (6 wins), 2016:5th (2wins)

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