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Banana Man wrote:When you're waiting for a parcel to be delivered and you really need a sh*t. There's no dilema quite like it.

-Unless it's your order of adult diapers

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Similar story to Vikz 22. At primary school I was given a triangle, told to stand at the back and don't hit it. End of potentially brilliant musical career!

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I am sure if God has a problem with the way Christmas is "celebrated" He's able to sort it out. Likely he doesn't need a lot of zealots to do this for him (unless of course He spoke to them "listen up guys, if you see a buddhist with mistletoe beat the crap out of the little #*$@") Oh and by the way...

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And that idiot taxi driver who tried to kill me this morning. But on a more positive note; clean underwear twice in one day!

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If it is left open for 60secs the freezer beeps, the fridge door activates the beep after 90 secs, the microwave beeps, the dishwasher beeps, the oven beeps, the washing machine beeps. If anyone gives me a beeping appliance for Christmas I shall not be responsible for my actions. I'm bleeping fed up...

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I tried to get one but they don't have Canada as a shipping option. *inaudible*!

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Just got home, took the dog (Pudding) out; minus forty-one with windchill! I think I need a large Scotch.

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The first two drivers in 18whatever who gave each other a look and then floored it (or re-set the throttle lever) and the snot-nosed kid who was watching them. It all started there.

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And while we are with the hypochondriacs let's not forget shock as in "I was like in total shock"
Surprised? maybe, astounded? perhaps, scared s***tless? possibly but in shock? probably not.
Shock is a medical emergency caused (usually) by blood loss or infection NOT by a little scare!

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My apologies for not reading story. Saw this on TV at work as scrolling headline referring to "Nurse involved" and jumped to wrong conclusion. Did not have time to go to website for full story.

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OK. Patient confidentiality is absolute but who's going to say no to someone you think is Ma Windsor? She should never have been put in that position. (Of having to refuse the Queen) Any other case would probably have got nurse rap on knuckles, this case would probably have been dealt with more seve...

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Unfortunately (?) we live in a (mostly) free world where one person's preference, for say chewing with the mouth open, is another's annoyance. Sadly personal freedom does not extend to wrapping their face in duct tape satisfying though this may be. I know I'll get crucified for this but... Cyclists....

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Johnston wrote: Topic review - Pic in Caterham

So that's Sochi out the window then is it?

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For drama, characters involved, circumstances, all that stuff, listened to on a crappy transistor radio (yes, really) Hunt/Lauda Japan.
and I guess the Timo Glock school of overtaking episode a distant second.

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Beta blockers!

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A dental hygienist once wished me "God's speed' - I just asked her where.

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[quote][/quote][quote="metamorphomisk"] Post subject: Re: How's it looking Stateside? I live in canada and the race will not be shown live as well. TSN will show the race 8 hours later...... Ridiculous...... Also, even though I pay to get speed coverage, f1 on speed is blocked for canadian user...

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Cruising towards five o'clock. few people to see, staff paid, it's all good
Put the gin in the freezer Ethel!

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Montreal -not least because I can walk home to my apartment!
Monza - don't get to go every year but the place just oozes history
Love Spa and used to like Brands Hatch and Zandvoort

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Dunno about a phone -you don't want a wrong number turning on your heating I am currently building a house (having a house built) in Quebec but I live in Nunavut so I have specified an internet control for the heating. Should be able to turn heat on or off remotely (also the A/C) Cost was about $600...

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So you want an evening out?

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maybe if we had proper flags instead of pictures of flags then the FIA could ask people to clean up the f***ing language

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Britney finds a cucumber. No, don't go there.

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I would be interested to hear the views of anyone who has been to Spa and sat in a grandstand. I have been 3 times but every time we were GA. As much as there are plenty of great GA spots, I am bored of queueing from 7am to get on the banks early. What grandstands have people sat in? What where the...

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Circuit Gilles Villeneuve - but Montreal is about a thousand miles away from Iqaluit.
We did have a snowmobile race from here to Kimmirut (and similar with dog sleds) but that's more like a rally

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But F1 isn't a "show" it's a race. Unlike NASCAR which in modern times is less race and more "show" Absolutely 100% agree. The need for "show" driven by the need to sell product and appeal to casual viewers while it may have produced some benefits in certain areas of the sport has thoroughly emascu...

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We used to have a rule where only some of the results could be counted (don't remember numbers but say best twelve of fifteen) Could this not be introduced into the system? No infractions? count all your results, bit of a Mad Donald and you might only get to count a couple of results. This does not ...

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I agree,
A mistake leads to consequences without possibly contentious stewards' decision.
A bit harsh on anyone nerfed off and may make overtaking a less rewarding experience if you screw up (or are screwed up) This needs work!

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Pierre Trudeau (cooler than Clinton)
Ted Heath (greater comic potential - could also opt for Berlosconi here)
Idi Amin but only briefly enough to see he got what he deserved (also could opt for Bokasa and a wide range of other assorted bastards)
Brehznev (nice hats)

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Don't get too experimental; here in Baffin one favourite is hairspray squirted through Coke (yes, really)

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try to avert your eyes but just listen occasionally to NASCAR commentary - one of the few things that is understated in this series "Bubba looks a little loose" Translation - Bubba just ploughed into a wall " A little bumpin' an' bangin" translation - multi-car pile up "Montoya's in the lead" transl...

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I cannot even bear to watch my wife using a bread knife (or most other sharp instruments) Being left-handed is only the start. loaf looks like a casualty from some Roman arena afterwards. Greatest thing(s) since sliced bread in no particular order Ikea door and drawer dampers Anything I can set with...

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Was there not once an Irish Bullfighter - or have I been at the strong medications again? I have not tried any of these online family tree services mainly because I do not have any interest - I'll meet 'em soon enough! I did once once spend an afternoon traipsing round a Belgian cemetery looking for...

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Got called away mid-post and did not have time to expand on theme but basically I don't use/own much of anything advertised on cars or drivers' suits and wondered if others were similarly unimpressed by advertising. I do not make a concious effort to avoid products (or to spell! conscious ) but I do...

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Not sure if this is off topic or not but do sponsors get value for money? How many products/services do you buy because they are F1 sponsors? I don't drink Red Bull, I don't drink Lucozade, I do (now and then) pour Johnnie Walker down the little red lane (I also consume more than my fair share of Ja...

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Johnston wrote:Surprised no body has made a purple helmet joke yet .

So here it is: the difference between pink and purple???

Grip.

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you can get rid of anything. re-design can be as radical or as subtle as you wish.

How about an eyeball on a finger (quite handy!)
re-site the waste disposal for greater accuracy, easier clean up etc.
still surprised no-one's opted for wheels

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In heaven no-one kicks you in the balls! This whole train of thought was started by the ban on performance enhancing drugs and my burning desire to make a ton of money flogging surgical enhancements for athletic performance (the snorkel-style nostrils etc) And now we have para-athletes whining about...

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I'm supposed to be re-designing the kitchen but I'm bored and the mind wanders...
If you had to re-design the human body what would you change? Less ear hair? add some wheels? few spare thumbs? nostrils round the back of the head for easier swimming (not backstroke)

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I have it on good authority the HRT is about to go tits up and be bought by a revitalised Hummer concern. They can still use some of the old Letterhead/logo etc (HummeR Team) Their cut and paste skills are second to none. Maldonado confirmed #2 (he is a bit of a number two is he not?) Liuzzi back fo...

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